Posts Tagged ‘gratitude’

It really is easy to see the worst in people. It doesn’t take any talent or discipline. Just look and the darkest part of humanity is played out plainly in front of our earthly senses. From the tone of our voices, to the clothes we wear or even the smell of our skin, we draw mental conclusions about one another. One has only to be aware of their own self to see others at surface value. And like thinking that ice bergs float upon the water, we only get a small part of the entire individual. Every single “sensing” of another person casts an unfair judgment upon them and in sliding scales of personal and silent criticism. Mostly we see each other through the lens of our own set of preferences, no matter how smart or spiritual we become. We do this through our senses and we relate with our surroundings through the mirror of memory. For instance, my sister thinks I am a saint and my Mom thinks I’m still a kid. One friend thinks I’m a wild rocker while another thinks I’m some computer guru. Some people know that Brooks and Dunn is my favorite group but others would say KISS or Motley Crue. Some clients called me genius, others called me useless. True? Or just partially true?

The fact is that life, (consciousness) does not just happen. The stuff that makes up the cosmos and the billions of stars of the universe does not just become aware of itself without some real God-like love occurring somewhere beyond our ability to sense things. And in this way everyone is truly sacred! Every time a judgment about another person arises in my mind (good or bad), I have to remind myself that I am just like them, we come from the same stuff. Hell, I might even be them if any of the Copenhagen Interpretation holds a drop of accuracy as to what is going on in the unseen world of physics. Everyone is scared. Every single person, no matter where they came from, what they did or what they have achieved, is sacred and valuable to someone (or something) who loves them enough to make them aware of creation.

Every human is a potential miracle for amazing goodness in this world and is a living, breathing monument of the miracle of life. Every human is a earthly product of our environment, social conditioning and merely an image trapped in time (Dio, anyone?). We are the fleshy puppets of fear in some corner of the human genome trying to come to grips with the cycle of life and death. Call it the “Golden Rule”, “Karma”, “What Goes Around, Comes Around” or “Reaping What You Sow”, it appears that the earth and all of us on it, are subject to perception. Let us deem everyone sacred and look for the very best in one another.

After the holidays, I was set on getting out there and looking for freelance work. I had a plan, prospects, appointments, a checklist and a mental picture of everything I was going to do in order to start the year on the best possible foot. I worked myself up for this task and then tragedy struck. I had to go to a funeral. Not a lot of time when you think about it, but a mentally derailing circumstance to say the least.

I had to go. One of my dearest friends lost his Mother from this earth unexpectedly. Standing out there in the cold doing what I could to comfort his father while his sons eulogized their Mother, my mind went to how many funerals I had missed over the years while “working”. How many times loved ones could have used an extra person to support them in their time of grief?

Standing out in the brisk cold was fitting for a funeral for such an interesting woman. I didn’t know her that well, but I bet she would have liked the idea. It was a reminder that the discomfort in life is proof that we are alive and breathing. Sometimes, the things we don’t like can remind us that grief and hope walk together hand and hand. It was surreal as I watched a glisten of moisture dance on the tip of the speaking Rabbi’s nose. The diverse collection of people gathered there shivering to remember her life, all very much alive and not fully aware of that miracle.

My friend and his family were amazingly gracious and did so much to comfort those that were there to comfort them, that I was moved to tears. Not for the passing of their Mother, but for the void they must feel in their lives at this time. I learned a lot about Jewish tradition and had to call my own Mother when I got home.

No matter how bad I have to work, it must wait when these times come. I will never miss another chance to pay my respects and support my loved ones. Never. I love you Ian and I thank your Mother for putting my New Year in crystal clear perspective. She will be missed.

I remember you too:
Spurgen (Chris) Tony
Alfred Garr II
Melvin Fletcher
Aaron D. Gautier
Walisi “hey” Jablonski
Betty Haines
Jerry Man
…to name just a few.

We got married on November 7th, 2009. It was an amazing day on so many levels. Mostly is was amazing because it came off on a shoestring and with the help of friends and family. Without them, there would not have been a wedding at all, at least not one like the one we had! The past two years have been challenging for self-employed people like myself. And over the past year, (like many) we have cut back and changed many aspects of our lives. One month before our wedding date we moved into a smaller place because we could not afford to stay where we were any longer. We have learned to “get by”. You hear that alot these days, “getting by”. My six year-old son said to me the other day, “Dad, I can’t believe we are broke, man.” Standing at the skating rink with him, a soda in his hands as music pumped in the background, I realized how relative the word “broke” can be to us Americans. While we are far from broke, we are getting by and that is ok.

I have come to realize that getting by is a great way to live. Getting by means no dollar comes into the house that is not fully appreciated. Getting by means that every part of the chicken is getting used and eaten (Crockpot). Getting by means baking ginger-bread cookies is a past-time on a Sunday afternoon. Getting by is the smell of homemade stew (Crockpot, again) all day long. (Hey, that’s a lot of food references, but Fallon is a foodie.) Getting by is enjoying the things we DO have, the way we had hoped when you bought them but forgot once we got them home.

A big thank you to my Father-in-Law for all the work and support these past few months and for Fallon’s amazing dress. I have to thank my Mother-in-Law, Rhonda and her husband Troy for covering so many expenses. A loving thank you to my dear friends Alfred and Cheri Garr for the salon appointments, wedding bands and the decorating. I have to thank Joe Heilman for marrying us with such elegance and honesty. And Jack Pepiot for taking such amazing pictures that captured the mood of the evening so well. Lastly, I would love to thank all the people who came to our wedding and gave so many wonderful gifts and good wishes.

If having people like you in our life is “getting by” than I can think of no greater luxury on this earth.

Each and every day I am amazed at the beauty of life and all it’s diversity. Just sitting and watching people last night as they react to their children in a Christmas play, I can see how alike we all are. We all struggle with our thoughts and fears until we focus on something joyful like a little guy dressed up as a Christmas ornament. Then the hardened faces light up to smile and wave at the stage. For me, there is a sense of unity in happiness. All those smiling and proud glances are a gift to behold. Imagine what we can do if we direct our thoughts to trust, love and forgiveness most of the time.

By experiencing the challenges that life has to offer, we are opened up to possibilities we never would have imagined. Fred Wolf said, “The secret to life is not to be in the know, but to be in the mystery.”

I, for one agree.