Ideas Are Good…

Archive for the ‘My Life’ Category

After the holidays, I was set on getting out there and looking for freelance work. I had a plan, prospects, appointments, a checklist and a mental picture of everything I was going to do in order to start the year on the best possible foot. I worked myself up for this task and then tragedy struck. I had to go to a funeral. Not a lot of time when you think about it, but a mentally derailing circumstance to say the least.

I had to go. One of my dearest friends lost his Mother from this earth unexpectedly. Standing out there in the cold doing what I could to comfort his father while his sons eulogized their Mother, my mind went to how many funerals I had missed over the years while “working”. How many times loved ones could have used an extra person to support them in their time of grief?

Standing out in the brisk cold was fitting for a funeral for such an interesting woman. I didn’t know her that well, but I bet she would have liked the idea. It was a reminder that the discomfort in life is proof that we are alive and breathing. Sometimes, the things we don’t like can remind us that grief and hope walk together hand and hand. It was surreal as I watched a glisten of moisture dance on the tip of the speaking Rabbi’s nose. The diverse collection of people gathered there shivering to remember her life, all very much alive and not fully aware of that miracle.

My friend and his family were amazingly gracious and did so much to comfort those that were there to comfort them, that I was moved to tears. Not for the passing of their Mother, but for the void they must feel in their lives at this time. I learned a lot about Jewish tradition and had to call my own Mother when I got home.

No matter how bad I have to work, it must wait when these times come. I will never miss another chance to pay my respects and support my loved ones. Never. I love you Ian and I thank your Mother for putting my New Year in crystal clear perspective. She will be missed.

I remember you too:
Spurgen (Chris) Tony
Alfred Garr II
Melvin Fletcher
Aaron D. Gautier
Walisi “hey” Jablonski
Betty Haines
Jerry Man
…to name just a few.

The worst thing about rising to greatness in any area is that all of your flaws have to be remain hidden in order to get there. Why? Because people can not accept that you just might be human and thus, imperfect. If you are great at ONE thing… you must be perfect at ALL things. I believe Tiger Woods is the victim of character assassination and just like Michael Jackson, you helped bring him down. You set Tiger up because you took your eyes (focus) off the ball and put them on his balls.

Here are some questions to ask when considering my above allegation.

1. Why does it bother so many people what Tiger Woods is/was doing off the golf course?
2. What does his private life have to do with how well he plays golf (a talent for which he is a star)?
3. Can you enjoy watching any other golfer play NOT knowing who he/she is poking?
4. Did he really “fall”? Do you think he might have been “not-so-honest” leading up to his greatness?
5. Is your sex life any of my business?
6. Why is sex the number one killer of character in the collective conscious of the public?

If you think someone is perfect because they hold office, play football, play the guitar or preach, you really need to get over yourself.  Most likely, all great people are as jacked up as you may be in some area of life. Oh, but you’re perfect. That’s right.  “Let he who is without sin…” is something we say in church or when we ourselves are “not so clean”.

I admire people like Michael Jackson, Tracy Lords, Robert Downey Jr., Tommy Lee, Britney Spears, Bill Clinton and Michael Vick for being imperfect and rising to greatness in some area of life. It takes a lot of commitment to be great in spite of ourselves. History will remember Tiger Woods for the great things that he did on the golf course with those little white balls. Oddly, that is the only reason people even cared about him in the first place.

Remember, famous people are smart. Lady GaGa, Marilyn Manson, Gene Simmons, Alice Cooper and the Kardashians all use our self righteousness to their benefit. Without them most of us would have nothing to talk about. That is the real commodity for which we are all paying for in giving credibility without grace to a member of our human family.

We got married on November 7th, 2009. It was an amazing day on so many levels. Mostly is was amazing because it came off on a shoestring and with the help of friends and family. Without them, there would not have been a wedding at all, at least not one like the one we had! The past two years have been challenging for self-employed people like myself. And over the past year, (like many) we have cut back and changed many aspects of our lives. One month before our wedding date we moved into a smaller place because we could not afford to stay where we were any longer. We have learned to “get by”. You hear that alot these days, “getting by”. My six year-old son said to me the other day, “Dad, I can’t believe we are broke, man.” Standing at the skating rink with him, a soda in his hands as music pumped in the background, I realized how relative the word “broke” can be to us Americans. While we are far from broke, we are getting by and that is ok.

I have come to realize that getting by is a great way to live. Getting by means no dollar comes into the house that is not fully appreciated. Getting by means that every part of the chicken is getting used and eaten (Crockpot). Getting by means baking ginger-bread cookies is a past-time on a Sunday afternoon. Getting by is the smell of homemade stew (Crockpot, again) all day long. (Hey, that’s a lot of food references, but Fallon is a foodie.) Getting by is enjoying the things we DO have, the way we had hoped when you bought them but forgot once we got them home.

A big thank you to my Father-in-Law for all the work and support these past few months and for Fallon’s amazing dress. I have to thank my Mother-in-Law, Rhonda and her husband Troy for covering so many expenses. A loving thank you to my dear friends Alfred and Cheri Garr for the salon appointments, wedding bands and the decorating. I have to thank Joe Heilman for marrying us with such elegance and honesty. And Jack Pepiot for taking such amazing pictures that captured the mood of the evening so well. Lastly, I would love to thank all the people who came to our wedding and gave so many wonderful gifts and good wishes.

If having people like you in our life is “getting by” than I can think of no greater luxury on this earth.